CHRISTMAS 1941
Midnight.
In his castle of Stargard, Pomerania,
Captain von Stegel of the 15th armoured division,
is about to leave once again his mother, wife and son.
It's his third war Christmas. What is his destination?
He doesn't know it yet.
At the same time in London,
a British family introduces the Christmas pudding
to corporal Théo Dumas, from the 1st Free French Division.
Corporal Théo Dumas is distracted.
He thinks about his bistro in Montmartre,
with his European champion's gloves hanged behind the bar.
In Ablis, west of Paris.
A grandmother says goodbye to her grandson.
He's off to England.
Franlkois Gensac isn't a warrior.
He's 30 and he's always gotten bored.
He's hoping for a change.
A small boat is taking eight men out of France.
They have different reasons for leaving occupied France.
This medical extern got only one but it's good enough:
His name is Samuel Goldmann.
At Bayonne's prison, people are thinking.
There's a lot of thinking going on in prison on Christmas Eve.
This man is mostly thinking about his escape,
or else he'll be executed in two days.
TAXI FOR TOBRUK
10 months later, in Libya,
inside Tobruk
occupied by Rommel's troops.
What the fuck are they doing?
Come on, let's go.
Everybody down!
Come on, quickly!
It's as if the lieutenant knew he wouldn't make it.
Was he bashed up a lot?
You know what funeral oration he wanted:
Muscatel in Pleurnel, but we're not there yet.
I know, I strayed from the road,
but I got us out of the mess, though.
And I guarantee we'll be in El Alamein tonight!
If you keep going, corporal, and if my notes are right...
we're not heading to El Alamein.
And he's got stripes on his jacket!
Do you want them?
How far did we stray?
We're actually rushing to the South Pole.
Come on, slow down with that!
We just have to change direction.
We've got petrol, water and meat.
We're 700 km from our lines and we can do 1000.
Yes, if we forget planes, tanks, land mines and other trifles!
If a superior invites you for a ride, my friend, just enjoy it
or you'll end up under arrest.
And don't look surprised if you ever get your ass kicked.
Hey...
Is that thing over there on the map?
No, it's not.
Morons.
And what about that one?
It's maybe a friend.
- Don't touch that. - You bet!
Don't touch that, God dammit!
If it's a Kraut, let him think we're Krauts too.
They've got British cars too. Cool it, take it easy!
- We've got a brain with us! - That's for sure.
Don't screw it.
- Messersmith 109. - It doesn't turn left
and apparently has messy machine-guns.
I got him! - I got my Kraut, guys!
Jesus, everybody out!
The radio and water!
The Kraut won't make it to Tobruk.
I'd rather not answer to you.
Dumb people like you should wear a sign.
You'd deserve the council of war.
- I hear people. - Try to catch the base.
And you, get our position.
In three hours, a plane could be here,
if Mr. Idiot doesn't shoot him.
We can copy but not transmit.
The oscillator's burnt and we don't have a spare.
- How's that? - We didn't bring one.
Christ! What's wrong with you?
So we're gonna croak because you didn't bring a spare one?
That's a bit rich! That really is!
- What's wrong with your leg? - It's nothing, just a burn.
It looks bad.
Put your hanky on it to keep it away from the flies.
You know, flies...
Now or later...
You're not trying any more?
You don't give a shit, do you?
- What were you saying? - We were talking about flies.
What?
Do you know how it is to die of thirst, general?
I studied it, it's really neat.
First, your tongue will swell.
Swallowing will become painful.
Then will come hearing troubles and vision troubles.
It's the standard progression.
Spasms will come later, just before agony.
That's when flies attack.
How about changing the subject?
Why? It's appropriate and I'm a doctor.
That's funny.
I often thought about death. Mine, of course.
I used to picture it around 70,
with an add in the medical magazine.
Doctor Samuel Goldmann died of a heart failure.
And I'm gonna die here of thirst, like a geranium.
Is that it? Get up!
If you forgot something, you'll tell us on the way.
Don't you think it's the end of the road?
We've got no car and no water.
- We'll make it. - How?
Walking!
Your feet will be big like this!
Feet, tongue, spasms... Spare us!
- You'll see! - If I can't walk, I'll crawl!
I'll get through those 700 km!
- Will you? - I will!
And even if I don't, we can only find help by walking!
Then walk, but without me!
We'll both give up, you'll see. We're all gonna give up.
Go ahead: give up!
I heard that so many times: "Give up, Dudu."
And the other guy always lost.
- Boxing is not the same. - It is!
We've got two options: croak here or walk.
- I'm walking, so will you! - No.
Sorry, corporal, I wasn't a hussar for 11 months
-to end up a foot soldier. - Meaning?
Just this:
I accept to die but with the least effort possible.
I'm gonna stay here,
smoke my last cigarettes and wait.
I'll let you crawl on the sand, your tongue panting.
The flies will find me seated.
Come on, my brave men!
I'd rather die for the desert's fertilization.
"Tomorrow on the tombs, the wheat will look better,"
like the poet said.
Gensac was a name and now it's gonna be a brand,
a fertilizer brand.
Colonialism is changing.
And they call that a commando! The orators commando!
Let's go, they're pissing me off.
- Dudu! - Shit!
Dudu!
Doctor, I think the Neanderthal man is screwing us.
A walking brute goes further than two seated highbrows.
Dudu...
Are we stopping because of me?
Him?
It's not because of someone.
Théo...
I can't any more.
Do as I do: think about something else.
Do you think those tracks lead somewhere?
Yes.
That's the only thing we should think of.
I've got hearing troubles: I hear music.
Me too.
Don't you?
I've got lazy ears.
But if you both hear music, that means there is!
Leave that!
Guys, that's the last metro.
We either go back with it or we don't go back at all.
- Which one do you pick? - The one facing us.
I'm taking the one that...
- And you? - I don't care.
- The one on the right. - Fine with me.
- You take the one in the middle. - Yes.
Don't screw it up, guys, there will be no second sitting.
- Ready? - Ready.
No!
Hurry up, scumbag!
They'd piss less if they weren't drinking so much.
Wait, I lost mine.
Now, for Christ's sake!
There's one more, guys!
You'd better hurry up!
Come on, cool it!
-"Hauptmann" means "captain"? - Ja.
Ludwig von Stegel, 1912...
Hey guys...
He's terrific!
Do you think they'll let me take him home?
You hurt?
He wanted to play with his radio.
It was to be expected.
Ask him who he was speaking with.
Don't mind us, Her Hauptmann.
Are we bothering you?
Because La Haye's agreements are protecting you...
Ask him if he has friends around.
I had those ones.
You'll obtain no information from me.
But you can yap in French, bitch!
I don't yap, I speak.
If I may suggest you, captain...
If you want to be ironic, talk to the corporal:
he won't touch you, you're not in the same weight division.
But that one will kick your ass.
In a blink.
He won't, but we need your word that you won't try to escape.
The laws of war allow me to give you my word and not keep it.
OK.
But as we have 700 km to do together, I want it to be clear.
If it goes well, I'll hand you to the police.
If you try something sneaky, I'll plug you.
Those are two promises.
What means "something sneaky?"
OK...
We have mechanical work to do.
You two, tell me how much water and petrol we've got.
We're carrying the Tanganyika: at least 30 L of water.
Tanganyika or not, draw up the rationing.
We just came out of rationing!
It's 30 L for five, don't figure on having a bath!
Did you say for five?
I can see only four of us.
Where is the fifth?
He'll drink and eat the same as us.
Otherwise, plug him now.
Go ahead, we're looking at you!
What are you waiting for? Go ahead!
Excuse-me, Father.
I didn't know I had joined the Salvation Army.
I'm loving it!
I'm a Jew.
What does it mean?
- I thought you spoke German? - I didn't learn it in a garage.
It'd be faster if we asked him.
If you're in a hurry to look like a sucker, I've got time.
Stop it, they love to show how brave they are anyway.
Hop in. Us French don't shoot our prisoners.
For sure, we don't have much of them.
Gentlemen... The bar is open.
The container's opaqueness allowing to cheat,
don't forget God is watching.
- Drink, I'll take the wheel. - Veterans first.
Here.
We're drinking too much, guys.
- You can skip your turn. - I'd rather have a distension.
You could say thank you.
I can put 20 more L, should I fill it up?
Yes, then come help me with the meal.
I should also handle technical matters, but I do everything...
- Is it the same for you? - Sometimes.
- Are you coming from El Alamein? - Yeah.
Without an officer?
We had one.
During the shootings, he wasn't hiding in the car.
At what age do they start giving you your pension?
Can't you change the record?
Why? They started it. And I have plenty more to say.
It looks bad.
You could use an antiseptic.
I'll clean it anyway.
- I'd hate being amputated. - Don't talk crap.
It'd annoy me because of tennis.
- Do you play tennis? - I didn't have time.
Grant, examination, internship...
I was a hard-working boy.
Careful, deserving...
Revolting.
But I only had two options: doctor or fixing old cauldrons.
From father to son, the Goldmann are tin workers.
If your grandfather isn't a banker,
what's the use of being a Jew?
- Does it hurt when I press? - You bet it does.
How stupid we don't have Mercurochrome!
You know you're allowed screaming.
You can count on me for that.
You know what they say in Cairo?
When you find a dead body you can't identify,
check his pockets: if there's a can opener, he's British.
If there's a bottle opener, he's French.
How could I know?
- If it were me,
- I'd have been bawled out... - What?
Nothing. I didn't talk to you.
By the way, Sam, you could also check his hand.
His hand?
It's better to be cautious, joints are fragile.
We never know.
Here you go.
I want to take you back in good shape.
You're doing a great job.
Let's see this hand.
- It's not broken. - What do you think?
- I didn't use all my strength. - Of course not!
Now that you're feeling better, to the radio!
Yes, sir.
I'd like our guys to know what's going on.
- Is that grub ready or what? - Hold on.
I'm starving, guys.
$0?
- It's worst than last night. - Just keep trying.
Hey, listen!
"Violent combats are on.
"The statement transmitted by the Cairo this morning says that
"the 8th army, with the help of the air force,
"launched a general offensive last night from El Alamein...
"Allied air forces
"have kept bombing intensively the enemy airfields
"in the combat area.
"People in informed circles expected for long
"a large scale allied offensive in Egypt.
"Commandos had been raiding for a few days
"the enemy depots in Tobruk and Benghazi.
"The decisive battle is on.
"At the time we're transmitting,
"Rommel's forces are drawing back everywhere."
Let's call them, they'll care for us after the war.
I want a closer look on this.
- Weren't you hungry? - Not any more.
I'll get the compass. You come with me.
I heard the situation's not good for you. It'll pass...
Everyone on board. En route to El Alamein.
Halt! If you don't mind...
The wounded first.
We've been suffering, we have rights over you.
- Step in, my dear colleague. - You really have some nerve!
That's how things are:
Soon, just any scratch will be convertible into cash.
What's wrong?
The news are good. I mean, for you.
Yeah.
We're getting closer to home.
Is there someone waiting for you?
Are you married?
- Any children? - Yes.
So you're a father.
I'm a son.
I'm meeting my dad.
Yeah. Right now, my dear father is in Vichy.
Legality is running into his veins.
If the Chinese invaded us, he'd become a mandarin.
If the niggers were taking over, he'd stick a bone in his nose.
If the Greeks...
Let's skip that one...
So depending on how things will turn out,
I'll be the Gaullist delinquent or the purifier hero.
You're swerving to the south!
- You asked me to. - It's their shitty compass!
- Ours is better. - So what,
you guide me as you feel anyway.
Halt!
- What did you say? - Halt.
Why halt?
- Stop, if you prefer. - I don't prefer anything,
I'm the one who says when to stop.
You won't reach El Alamein like this.
You're gonna get stuck in the soft sand.
- Soft sand yourself. - Let him talk.
May I?
We have to by-pass this zone.
We have to do an Like this.
- Then let's do it. - It's a 100-km detour.
We'll run out of petrol.
I don't see a solution.
What would you do if you were in my shoes?
I am not in your shoes.
But I know that...
I would go here. Siva's oasis.
You'll find all the water and petrol you want.
- And your buddies. - You have some nerve.
- He's a funny one. - We had Siva's control yesterday
but today...?
Radio Cairo said we are drawing back everywhere.
If you don't trust your own information...
Captain von Stegel,
you really think we're morons.
We can take you directly to Tobruk if you prefer.
What floor do you live on? I'll also run you a bath.
Come on, Sammy, step on it. El Alamein is straight ahead.
- Don't let the engine heat up. - I'm spinning.
Use the intermediates. Didn't I teach you that?
Yes, sir, you did. Take the wheel if you can do better.
- You'll get stuck in the sand. - I can stop if you want.
That moron's gonna get us stuck.
I was sure this would happen, didn't I?
- Me too. - Go backwards.
Easy on the pedal. Just caress it!
Get off and change the gearwheels if you want.
I must love war to make it with that!
To your shovels, gentlemen!
We need to know what's under.
Soft sand.
You speak German, tell him to fuck off for me.
What about taking a shovel?
- No. - It could make you tired?
That's not the point.
No French officer prisoner is forced to work.
As an officer, I just ask to implement an admitted rule.
Somebody needs a good kick in the ass.
- He's right: he doesn't have to. - And me?
You're not a prisoner, so you dig!
I could use some water.
Same here.
Come on, guys, that's the laborers' round.
Special service.
Is it cool?
Like a southern rosé. Maybe a bit too iced.
I'm not sure what La Haye's agreements are for this,
but I'll check it out when we arrive.
Maybe a retroactive round will come.
Regulations are regulations.
Come on guys, we're almost there.
Push!
Come on.
It won't start.
Let's do it again.
How much does it use?
30 L.
- It's enough for half the way. - I know that!
If we go to Siva, we bump into his friends. And straight,
we run out of petrol. There's no way out.
Having tasted what dying slowly is,
I'd like to try something new.
- You'll be spoiled! - It could be.
Well...
Maybe God will help us since we represent civilization,
I think he'd rather help big armies than small ones,
so we'd better not expect too much.
Yeah...
But Siva isn't that big and we first need to find it.
We're doing you a favor so how about guiding us?
My pleasure.
Come on, guys, let's go.
Who's that?
Would you mind going at the back?
Keep an eye on him.
Not like this, here.
Do we hook on the wagon?
Yeah.
But don't be overzealous.
We must land on it like in candy floss.
"Hello ladies and gents, we're just passing through."
- OK? - Yes.
Let's go.
Your road is a bit busy for me.
Do you know a better one?
What I dislike is their military police.
You know, they just have the same one we have.
Some are really twisted.
They'll be there if you're pilfering.
- Slow down. - Will you make up your mind?
- There are motorcyclists. - You think they'll fine us?
- Let them pass. - What if they stop?
Then we'll see.
What are we doing?
You don't plan to take off, do you? Then drive.
See what I see, big chief?
Dammit, it's Samuel!
So they busted you too?
- Samuel, you don't recognize me? - Hurry up!
What a bloody moron!
Is he recovering?
Slowly.
- Théo... - Yeah?
Did you notice I didn't touch a single hair of his head?
You speak of La Haye's agreements...
But it's the second time you knock him out!
Feeling better?
Help him walk a bit, but hurry, there's no time to waste.
Don't take it personally, Théo's a brute born from the war.
In medical terms, they call that a paranoiac,
in military terms, a corporal.
- Is that brandy? - Three stars.
- Show me that. - No, no...
You took the car from the German army: it's war.
But the bottle is mine.
It's maybe time to give him another wallop.
Where did you steal that?
I bought it.
When's the last time you went to Paris?
A year ago.
I transited there three months ago.
I hope you enjoyed it.
How about changing the subject?
Why? It's instructive.
A nice garrison town, isn't it?
"Very pleasure, promenade, pretty lady..."
I lived two years in a student residence
across Montsouris Park.
The left bank has nothing except for the stadium.
At night, I used to go eat on Mr. Leprince street.
- At the Chinese's? - At Adéle's.
Is the tour over?
I've been listening to this Paris crap for two years:
the cheap bistros, the bars, and so on...
Soon, one of you is gonna show a metro ticket and pictures.
That's history for me. No more Paris and that's that.
You're being insensitive to nostalgia.
I don't live in the past like other pussies and crayfishes do.
- Bravo! - I'm glad to hear that!
Scratch a boxer and a philosopher comes out!
There's a sleeping Plato in every Dud...
Do you know what Plato is telling you?
That's how friendly noncommissioned officers
and privates are.
We share joys and sorrows. We share everything...
...but the brandy.
And they're supposed to be out of equipment...
- What are we doing? - We move. Come on.
Do you really want to stay here?
It's the beginning of the end.
We've got 200 L of petrol with us!
Everybody down!
After you.
They're bombarding from high, they must be Canadians.
Those morons are gonna dump one of these on us!
Don't insult them, they're our allies.
Don't try to run,
that would be stupid.
Don't worry, Dudu, we're here.
So...
...it's not only about making prisoners...
- We could use a coachbuilder. - Let's just hope it starts.
- Shit, my beret. - I'll get it.
Listen to this...
Remind me to buy myself a Mercedes.
Special service for the laborers.
- Here. - Hurry up!
Are you sure you can hold your liquor?
Get off by this side.
Slowly.
If it overturns, we won't be able to put it back
on its wheels.
Look at this...
Maybe I can handle this.
Fine.
Hold here.
Here!
While you maneuver it we'll prop it up.
- With what? - With that!
If it overturns, we get crushed!
Who's fault is it, Mr. Driver?
I wouldn't say anything if I were you.
Ready?
Come on!
Stop, it's OK.
Stop!
He's running away, shoot the tires!
- With what? - How many times have I told you
never to get out of the car without a weapon?
Give him yours, then.
Come closer, gentlemen. Hands on your neck.
- We look smart. - Who's fault is it?
"Who's fault is it?"
I should have done it.
He shouldn't have overturned the car.
"It's not me, it's him." You're worst than kids.
"Concord between the French has never been as needed as today."
- Come on, not today! - Fine.
I said hands on your neck.
Don't you understand French?
Take the front seats.
Corporal, you take the wheel.
On your neck.
En route to Tobruk.
- Where's this gonna lead? - To Tobruk. Fourth floor.
I'm sorry, corporal, I can't wait to take a bath.
Don't answer, just drive.
Yes. I can't watch the four of you.
- Corporal... - What?
Tell him there's no grenade under the seat.
What would I do with a grenade?
I don't know but don't do anything stupid.
I think we're stuck in the sand.
I couldn't have done better myself.
Get out. All of you.
Dig.
No.
You won't drink anything before.
We don't care, we're not thirsty.
Good.
- I'm not in a hurry. - Neither are we.
Step back.
A southern rosé.
Don't you want some?
Good night!
Hey, Captain!
En route.
If someone told me there were snails in the desert...
Not as good as the gray ones, but OK.
No one can contest that you're a good person to know.
It's true: ace driver, chef...
What did you do in civilian life?
I never was a civilian.
Since '39, you military people haven't be idle.
- Since '38. - You think it's funny?
Very
I think like him.
An officer who doesn't like to fight is a crook.
You battle while saying everyday how stupid it is.
- You should have stayed home. - That's a funny one!
You're a professional soldier, but I didn't ask to come.
So what? You didn't have to answer.
Sammy, help me out, I'm done with him.
Personally, the best part of war is the victory parade.
The boring part is everything before.
We should cash our enlistment money and parade right after.
- Can I ask you something? - Of course.
If you don't like war,
why sign treaties with countries that always fight war?
Sign a treaty with Switzerland or Luxembourg.
My dear Ludwig, you don't know the French.
Our freedom complex goes back to 1789.
That's why we slaughtered half of Europe.
Ever since Napoleon crushed Poland,
we've refused to let anyone else do it.
It would make us feel frustrated.
You hadn't talked nonsense in a while.
I had missed it.
Yet I went to Norway because of the Polish.
You were in Narvik?
Nice little seafront.
- I know it very well. - Is that from there?
Yes.
The only things I brought back were frostbites.
From Narvik, I went to England instead of going home.
I'm still wondering why...
If you want him as a friend,
pretend you believe it was patriotism.
- It was ambition. - The petty bourgeois mind.
You won't get me like this, you bunch of dummies.
And there's the double pay.
For the noncommissioned officers it's not bad.
The more it last, the more he makes.
It won't be OK if you start speaking dough, guys.
I'm the only one who'll end up sunk by all this.
- How's that? - You know it perfectly.
Ludwig doesn't.
You know I'm not a professional soldier.
I had a job you don't do for long and it was my last years.
When I think that 15 days before the declaration of war,
I was supposed to box with Gustav Rudin.
Only 15 days before and on top of the bill.
- On top of the bill! - Perfectly, on top of the bill.
And they would have had to add more chairs.
That's what I left behind,
only to get my ass kicked in the fjords!
It'd have been the same in the ring.
- It was a piece of cake. - Really?
The fight was fixed.
Aren't they a bit dumb, captain?
- We're having a good laugh. - Yes...
Here, have another one.
Shit.
It seems some were in trouble here.
It's no longer a minefield, it's a fairground.
Anyway we've been through this on the way, we'll do it again
on the way back.
- Who drove first? - I did.
Then it's you again. Let's go!
That's a good one.
The first time we had marks, and a map.
- Where is it then? - In Tobruk...
With the lieutenant.
Boys, I'm OK to try, but I can't guarantee anything.
Because the landscape is pretty different.
Believe me.
There's no hurry to blow ourselves up!
Take your time, we're not in a hurry.
Anyway, they'll say we've been sightseeing.
If anyone dares to tell me that!
Do you mind?
He's actually a good guy.
I know. What can I do about it?
You were right.
At war, we should always kill before getting acquainted.
Let me sit, Dud...
Look at the specialist.
You love that, don't you?
I'll never get used to land mines.
I'd like to know who's the idiot who invented them.
Leonardo da Vinci.
I'm lost. Some marks are gone. I don't recognize the place.
- No, you can remember! - I'm telling you I'm lost!
I'm lost, I can't help it.
There's only one solution.
To go back in our tracks.
And go around the minefield.
Why?
Are you afraid?
Yes.
Thanks.
No...
Don't touch.
How far is the other road?
It's a 120 km detour.
Let's get back to it.
Don't worry: you'll be in the hospital in an hour.
And us, in the shower.
Oh shit, I forgot...
What can we do?
We could suggest him for the Cross of War.
Let's go.
How far is El Alamein?
About 15 km.
Stop.
He needs an injection, otherwise he won't make it.
What would you do if you were in my shoes?
What you're going to do.
Take Francois to the hospital.
Yes but...
And you?
This situation is so stupid.
You already said he's a good guy.
So now what, you want to let him go?
But we could think it over...
Here's an idea:
While we drop Franl3ois at the hospital,
he could get away from our watch.
It's only an idea.
What does it mean clearly?
It means I'm fed up of all those military codes of conduct!
Is it clear enough?
- Say, Ludwig... - Yes.
I think Dudu is gonna hate you, he can't deal with problems.
My case is not a problem.
To me either, but have a look at them!
Dudu forgets his frostbites from Narvik,
the other, his years in prison.
But I don't forget anything.
I'm the nasty one, the spiteful one.
I don't like being a cuckold.
When I read Hegel, you were on "My kempf".
The French always are a book too late.
That's why I'll sort good and bad German later,
with a clear head.
But as long as it'll be under a kepi, I'll stick to clichés.
When you have a prisoner, you keep him.
Exactly.
We were five, we come back five.
I don't want to bother you...
...but I don't think you'll be five for long.
You're in Dr. Goldmann's hands,
so don't speak of what you don't know.
You'll be on your feet in one week.
And you'll screw your nurse in two weeks.
First, we'll put you in a great room.
And after?
I wanted to be put under the Arch of Triumph.
Too bad there's already someone.
Sending the guy back to his family is not a bad idea.
But sending him on the other side and keep fighting him,
is it that great?
A Kraut! He's got some nerve!
Load it.
Ready.
Hey' guys...
Sam?
Guys, answer me for Christ's sake!
Hey, you bastard, can't you take off your hat?
Excuse-me, I was thinking of something else.